d2F publishing ltd. : veracity(1)

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NAME

veracity (unsoiled)

PREFACE TO THE UNSOILED REMIX

This is John Donovan's life from Thanan's point of view. I can't believe much of this though. He talks of time travel and such other wonders that make the affair seem a bit on the fantastic side. The introduction is followed by a rather detailed interview where Thanan asked Donovan a number of rather probing questions in order to get the story as ``accurate'' as possible.

ve*rac*i*ty (ve ra'e te) n., pl. -ties [ ML. veracitas , truthfulness < L. verus , true : see VERY ] 1. habitual truthfulness; honesty 2. accuracy of statement; accordance with truth 3. accuracy or precision, as of perception 4. that which is true; truth --SYN. see HONESTY, TRUTH (Websters, 1984)

r.s.

WORKS CITED

Webster's NewWorld Dictionary . Second College Edition. New World Dictionaries / Simon and Schuster : New York New York, 1984.

LEGAL

by richard ess

Copyright 1995,1996 richard ess

[ unedited version ]

QUOTES

"that book was made by mr. mark twain, and he told the truth, mainly. there was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. that is nothing. i never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was aunt polly, or the widow, or maybe mary. aunt polly -- tom's aunt polly, she is -- and mary, and the widow douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as i said before."

- samuel langhorne clemens

"nothing can stop me now, because i just don't care anymore"

- trent reznor

PROLOGUE

At age 46, John Donovan is arguably the richest man in the world. He owns the largest computer software company in the world, Microcode. He has a very confusing and mysterious past. His moves in the market have often been categorized as brilliant. At one time, `Donovan Code' was considered some of the most efficient, portable computer code in the industry. One day I interviewed John, because one day, the real story of John Donovan would have to come out. One day, someone would need to know. It's a story of desperation, filled with anger, pain, love and denial.

It all started not quite a year ago. On John's 46th birthday. Physicist John Donovan felt he had nothing. He was an assistant professor at Northwestern university in Chicago Illinois. His science was generally considered poor, and his few remaining grants were going to run out shortly, with little promise of being renewed.

John Donovan had one thing that no one could take away from him. A device that John had dubbed as the chron-set. This device was a time machine. It was what he had been working on, and was probably the main reason that his other, more mainstream research had gone to hell. Basically it allowed John to travel through time. It could be used as the fast forward and rewind buttons from the VCR. The device was integrated into Donovan's person, and could not be removed.

As a high school student and later when he did his undergraduate work, Donovan had often mused at the possibility of time travel. It stemmed from a basic unhappiness on how his personal life had proceeded. He wasn't much interested in saving the world, he just wanted to tweak his own life and make it better.

The first time John Donovan went to was May fifteen, nineteen eighty-three. Though I remember the events that followed (I was living in the same town), I didn't realize until quite recently who was behind the whole plot (Or more relevant when he was from).

PART ONE

15 may 1983

a discharge of energy and it was all over. john donovan arrived in his target in time. he was in a long room, decorated with an odd assortment of furniture. the place was hardly recognizable to donovan. he had lived here for about a year which spanned his seventh birthday. the scummy land lord had decided to sell the place after they rented there for a year. not all land lords were scummy, but this one was.

there was an atari sitting on the floor by the tv and donovan was watching his new friend ralph play smurf. annoying little blue things. who would write a dumb-ass game like this? for 1983, it was top of the line. it required you to actually jump over fences and stuff. this is where john donovan would begin his changes.

donovan found the carpet cleaner just where one would expect it. he recalled this story well, though for the life of him, donovan couldn't remember the event himself. ralph was busy playing smurf on the atari. it would be easier this way. in the original history, confrontation had mounted between ralph and donovan. donovan had threatened ralph with the carpet cleaner, and ordered ralph to leave. ralph had used a glass dolphin as a hostage, and escaped from the house. though they were initially enemies, ralph and donovan would become good friends.

this time, ralph wouldn't have the chance. the carpet cleaner had a smooth black rod and an orange head was at the very end. the blood wouldn't be all that noticeable there. orange, red, what's the difference?

donovan raised the weapon up and swung hard. it only took one hit. ralph's head went flying. donovan continued to beat the lifeless body, just to be sure, that ralph was quite dead. the next thing to be done would be to hide the body. which would be a trick. but donovan had the mind of a forty six year old in the body of a six year old. no one would suspect a six year of murder after all. he would wait until it was dark.

there was a forest just the opposite side of the street from where donovan and ralph lived. he crossed the street and started walking, carrying an old trunk. he also brought the carpet cleaner and a shovel. it was dark, and difficult to see. donovan had considered bringing a flashlight, but what was the point? it would just make him easier to see if any one was looking for him. being found with a dead body, and the murder weapon would be bad thing.

finally donovan arrived at a rock outcropping in the middle of the forest. it was split into two main boulders. it stood out from the trees and bushes around. donovan had brought the weapon, and when he wedged the trunk between the two boulders, he put the carpet cleaner there too. he buried the body under a mound of dirt.

that was done with, it was time to use the chron-set and get out of here.

memories change, a funeral. death, an investigation. a cover up. lies. images like a black and white movie. like he had really been there. he will be. he had. he was. donovan became.

PART TWO

20 august 1988

donovan felt his body jolt as he shifted to another time. he was sitting at a card table. there was a young twelve year old boy on the opposite side of the table. he wore glasses and a real shirt. not a t-shirt like his other friends wore, but a striped shirt with a collar. between them was a map of europe and a collection of cardboard counters. each represented a tank, infantry or some other piece of military hardware. the two of them were fighting for europe. in the final analysis, it didn't matter though. in fact, this time, the whole game seemed pointless to donovan.

"hey, thanan. you want to go outside and play some tennis?" donovan suggested. "it's getting hot in here. i think we need a break."

"sounds like a good idea to me." thanan replied. they walked outside and headed to a nearby tennis court. something had always bothered donovan about this person. although, donovan would invite him over and try to spend time with him, he found that thanan lived in fear of his mother, who didn't like donovan very much.

it wasn't his fault. in fact it didn't matter, but donovan knew that he should have said something. he knew that this relationship would turn sour, unless he did something about it.

"you know thanan, it's sort of annoying how we always have to play at my house. i mean, every once and a while, you would think we could set up a game at your house. or just go play outside or something."

a simple statement and it all set into place a friendship which would last forever.

next step, one of the most important. donovan used the chron-set again.

memories change, birthday party. friendship, support, a mirror of the soul. images like a black and white movie. like he had really been there. he will be. he had. he was. donovan became.

PART THREE

travel

donovan considered as he traveled through time. he'd replaced a friend. can you do that? donovan recalled once telling (a good, close personal) friend that friends, true friends should be forever. he also recalled that he considered ralph a true friend at one time. he'd even told him so, but ralph had shrugged it off like it was nothing.

PART FOUR

14 april 1994

donovan was getting a headache. he looked around, and he found a familiar place. it was much too familiar. he had spent too many of his high school years in this biology room. At the time, donovan was interested in biology. thanan was on a team of five who were in the school's biology team. they were working on the presentation for the finals in a state competition.

it was after school, and donovan had use of a car, but he had stayed after school to spend time with his friend thanan. donovan had come to offer input and to make suggestions. he felt welcome here. for a moment, he felt he had never left, that for twenty some years, he had been dreaming, and now he had finally awaken. but it was not so. he looked at the five members of the team and found the one that he was looking for.

mary. she was beautiful. everything about her was perfection, and donovan couldn't help but stare at her. he had not seen her since he was nineteen (which would be just over a year from now). she was just as he remembered her. she didn't much want to be here. she wanted to go home. donovan had to talk to her.

"good morning." he smiled. peace entered donovan's soul he found personal purpose for the first time in years. he just wanted to spend eternity in this moment. not to move at all. with the chron-set he could choose any moment from his life to experience. donovan would chose this moment above all others to relive.

"uh... it's not morning." mary answered.

"it's morning somewhere..." donovan was still smiling, "like china. I bet it's morning there."

"maybe, but we're not in china, this is new mexico." mary replied.

"you don't quite look like you really want to be here." donovan observed.

"you are correct. i find this whole thing rather tedious. it was my biology teacher's idea that i do this, even though i wasn't much interested in it."

"you want a ride home? i bet they can do without you for the rest of the afternoon." donovan asked. everything was going exactly as it had done before, the only reason he had jumped as early as this was because he was enjoying this moment too much. he didn't want it to end.

"sure. that would be cool." mary replied. "hey, thanan, i'm going to go home with... uh... what's your name?"

"donovan. john donovan."

"john is going to take me home." mary told him.

"really. hmm. ok, see you tomorrow then." thanan winked at donovan as they left. the first time donovan had seen thanan do that, he dismissed it as being irrelevant, now he wished he had not, but that was what this was all about. it was all about second chances.

the two of them walked outside. it was a lovely afternoon in los alamos new mexico. birds chirped and the sun was bright.

"so, what year are you?" donovan asked. she is a freshman.

"i'm a senior. i'm a senior this year, and i will be a senior for another three years." mary replied.

"that's quite a trick. you sure you're not a freshman?" donovan grinned like an idiot. though he had spoken these words before, his body language was completely different. it changed the meaning of everything, even though, he felt exactly the same way.

"sure. well, sort of. how about you?" mary inquired.

"me? i'm a junior. it's really great. only a year and a bit left."

mary sighed.

"tell me. where abouts do you live?" donovan asked. she lives on baranca mesa.

"baranca mesa." mary replied.

"really. hmm. that's sort of near to where i live. i live on north mesa."

questions continued. donovan knew all the answers by heart. he felt a perverse pleasure in asking them again anyway. it was like he was an actor, playing a part that he loved. they arrived at donovan's car in the high school parking lot. donovan drove right up to exactly the right house. mary didn't even notice that she didn't need to tell him where to go. she was looking at him, in a way that he honestly could not remember. she had probably done that the first time too, but he had dismissed it, like so much else. could have been worse. he could have died at age seventeen. before she opened the car door, donovan took the opportunity and asked the question that would be the only change he would make here.

"you want to go see a movie on friday?"

"sure. i would like that." almost a smile, and an odd (almost confused) look, like she had been thinking the exact same thing.

a warm glow surrounded donovan.

soon the emptiness would return. a nagging cold on his soul. darkness ensued and enveloped everything in his vision. his feelings were numbed by despair. he was done here. he had gotten what he had come for.

he set the chron-set for the next time period.

memories change, a first date. a second, and then spending all free time with her. images like a black and white movie. like he had really been there. he will be. he had. he was. donovan became.

PART FIVE

20 june 1995

it felt like an ice pick was tapping on his head. the pain was becoming worse. he would only be able to use the chron-set a few more times. it was donovan's eighteenth birthday. he had invited his friends over for burgers and a game of ultimate frisbee. everyone invited had shown up, except mary. she was going out of town, except she wasn't out of town at all. it was a lie. donovan knew it. he hadn't known it the first time he was here, but it came as no surprise to him now. she had lied poorly, though because she wound up at the same place where donovan and his friends had decided to play ultimate frisbee.

it was a hot summer day. mary was on the roof of the middle school buildings, talking to one of her friends. donovan's party entered the school soccer field from the far corner.

"look! it's john. you know, i think he loves you." becca said.

"i don't know. i tend to think not." mary was never very confident about relationships. she tended to assume the worst, if a person didn't tell her how they felt.

"let's go over and say hi." becca suggested.

"i don't know... i told him that i couldn't come to his party, because i was going to be out of town. he'll probably be mad."

"come on. you should be with him on his birthday."

"very well." mary consented. they climbed down from the roof at the safest possible point. they approached the group. donovan looked very serious. in fact he was beginning to look very mad.

"so. you're going to be out of town eh?" donovan almost bothered to make the pretense of making a question out of the statement.

"i'm sorry, i was going to be, but then our plans changed."

"bull shit. this is always the way. you give me your lies, and your half-truths. what the hell am i suppose to believe? anything that comes out of your mouth is more than likely to be a lie." donovan accused mary harshly.

"you don't understand..." mary tried to interrupt.

"NO! you are the one who doesn't understand. i don't have to put up with this. you can go to hell. i don't want to ever see you again." donovan said, and began to walk away. to be alone. that's all he wanted at the moment. rage and anger overtook reason and thought. why did i come here? donovan asked himself. why this moment in time?

anger. pain. the chron-set, would take it all away, must jump again. like a drug.

memories change, depression. masochist, meaningless sex and pointless relationships. images like a black and white movie. like he had really been there. he will be. he had. he was. donovan became.

PART SIX

8 november 2002

the pain in his head was hardly bearable. he had to continue though. it is was necessary. donovan was a young man of twenty-six. he was working for mikrosoft, on some god awful project that would become nothing. it was all useless. he did have the opportunity to change that though. he had been given a chance here, that he had never seen when he was here the first time.

mikrosoft had the largest office building in seattle at this point in time. donovan had a small office in this large building. actually, it was more of a cubical, but everyone called them offices for some perverse reason. security was tight here. recently, a number of hackers had been caught trying to put viruses in mikrosoft products. they were mostly software pirates interested in bringing mikrosft down. the real problem, was they didn't have access to mikrosoft as donovan, and all the employees here did. although a low-level employee, he had been through a massive security check that had been introduced recently. the whole process had seemed pointless at the time, and it would turn out to be, because donovan would change everything. he would bring them down.

he knew of an important project that was being developed here called msvros. the new virtual reality operating system. it was problematic at best (full of bugs and more likely than not to crash), but it would become extremely popular with the same sort of people who liked windows and the mac operating system. it was late at night, and most people were gone. the only people around were the night watchmen and other security types.

donovan picked up a laptop computer, put it into his backpack. he found the vent he was looking for and opened it up with the screw driver from his swiss army knife. he had bought it in austria. they are cheap in that part of europe for some reason. he crawled into the small passageway. it was a tunnel that was part of a network of tunnels, that led to all parts of the building. all the tunnels on this level led to a center shaft which helped circulate air through the entire building.

he would have to find a way to get up four floors, to the maximum security vault where the alpha version of msvros was kept. he tore a piece of flimsy metal from the floor of the tunnel and fashioned a hook. he made another and then he was ready. using one on each hand, he climbed up the shaft slowly. when he finally reached the desired floor, he kicked open the vent. there was no one around. donovan was in a room with a huge vault. he had side stepped the human guards, which was a good thing, because he wasn't in the mood to kill anyone.

he got out his laptop computer and plugged it in. it had a special black market interface for this sort of thing. donovan had bought it just for this purpose. it would "listen" to the lock using the physics of the metal, and come up with the combination. it was experimental, but usually, worked in less than ten minutes. donovan waited.

after a few minutes, an audio beep sounded to indicate the code had been broken. he read off the numbers from the color lcd computer screen and dialed them into the lock. a loud and very pleasing click rang out. donovan put the computer away in his backpack and walked in as the vault opened. a pentium pro was sitting on the table, all ready to be used, completely unprotected at this point. the outdated computer was slow, but reliable enough for what it was mostly used for - storage.

donovan sat down at the computer and made the proper changes to the code. he put a worm in the code, that the designers would never catch. this modification that donovan had just introduced, would make the product not only unusable, but extremely unpopular with any end user.

the code was inserted. he was done. one more chron-set and he would be all done. all will have changed.

memories change, a financial institution crumbles. an opportunity for other companies open up. images like a black and white movie. like he had really been there. he will be. he had. he was. donovan became.

PART SEVEN

6 august 2005

the throbbing in donovan's head is unbearable. he has trouble concentrating. he was in a meeting. there were three other men were in the room, all contemplating the their own future. what would be done. the first time donovan had been here, he hadn't come up with anything. neither had his closest friend, thanan who sat on his right side.

this time it would be different.

"i know what is wrong with msvros. i know how we can fix it. and i know how we can all become rich. we'll all be bigger than phill gates." donovan pronounced. the three executives weren't trained in this sort of thing. they were not business men by training, they were programmers. they had gotten into the business hacking out code and gave up on it. they realized they could make more money this way. the money had become a drug.

"you men have given up. i know. so had i. but, though vros failed because of `the worm', the fundamental flaw was that mikrosoft is old. it's an institution. the market needs something new, they need a fresh approach" donovan was a minister, preaching for his highest belief, "they need US!"

behind them, the door opened. with the creek of the door, a man stepped in. he carried a rifle. a shot gun. his hair was frazzled and his eyes were blood shot. he looked like hell. anger filled his face like an eternal flame. he pumped the single barrel shot gun and aimed it at donovan.

donovan turned around surprised. this wasn't the way it happened the first time. in fact, this had never happened at all. this man, who looked like the very devil had taken his soul, was phill gates iii. he must have figured out who was responsible for the `worm', though it was much to late for gates to do anything about it. mikrosoft was history now, and so was phill gates. well, maybe gates was grasping on with everything he had left, which was nearly nothing.

"DAMN YOU!" he screamed at donovan "who do you think you are?!? don't you know who i am? you can't do this to me! you're going to pay."

donovan cleared his throat. he had to remain calm, and collected. "come on, mr. gates, i think we can talk this over reasonably without that gun." donovan suggested.

"fuck that! i think i'll just kill you now... YOU BLOODY TOAD!" he spoke and hit donovan in the head with the `safe' end of the gun. donovan fell to the ground, with a big cut on his forehead. gates backed up and looked around. at that moment, he looked ready.

"don't do it, mr. gates." thanan said. he approached gates and pushed donovan out of the way. as if he knew, at that moment, his closest friend would die, if he didn't act.

BANG!

another man took the weapon from gates and pounded him into unconsciousness. thanan lay next to donovan, blood all over the place. thanan had saved donovan's life. and now, thanan was lying on the floor by donovan, dying.

"thanan, why did you do it? i... you... god... don't die... not again!" donovan cried out. tears began to form. the pain was mental this time. the headache was gone for that instant. the moment was a mesa on a flat plain, elevated and separated from all else in space and time.

"don't worry. phill gates... he's really history now, eh?" thanan smiled as he dove head first into unconscious.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" donovan yelled out.

the pain returned. donovan's head felt as though it will explode. the pain was unbearable. the chron-set is useless now, he must return.

memories change, a hospital. near death for a close friend, a trial, and imprisonment, finality. images like a black and white movie. like he had really been there. he will be. he had. he was. donovan became.

EPILOGUE

6 august 2022

T: So, John, I now know realize that is the real story, but I think there are a few questions that I should ask in order to make it clear to our readers.

JD: Very well, shoot.

T: Well, first of all, you went from being a physicist, to a computer scientist. If you ask me, that's quite a jump.

JD: True. Well, I had a friend once. He was into computers. He told me that I had the potential to do computers. I guess I thought that I would try my hand at it.

T: One thing, I think a lot of people will wonder, is why the first thing you did was to kill Ralph, someone you hardly even knew.

JD: I would have grown to know Ralph well, had he lived. In fact, he was to become one of my closest friends. He stole Mary from me the first time, or at least that's what I thought. It turned out that Mary and I just weren't right for each other. So as it turned out, killing him was pointless.

T: It seems to me, there were a lot of changes, not caused directly by the changes you made in your short visits.

JD: Time is continuous, even if I my trip wasn't. The time periods I did not visit, were effected by my judgment, as though I did not know the future, but every action I took was effected by the `small' changes I made in the past.

T: Is there anything you have learned, from doing everything again. Making as many changes as you have?

JD: Yeah. I learned that I changed a whole lot, and yet, I didn't change a damn thing. Everything is much the same as it was before. Now I have a lot of money, and own a huge company, but... I am still very much alone in this world. I lost all the people I cared about, again, and all I have left is you, and this money. Useless...

FINAL

20 june 2023

My closest and dearest friend died today. John Donovan committed suicide by jumping off of the Empire State building. One day, I was going to publish this, one day when it didn't matter anymore. Now I don't want to. The whole thing is rather painful to me.

Who ever you are, you can do what ever you want with this bit of written history. I don't care. As John would probably say, I'll probably be dead by the time anyone finds this.

Thanan, 2023 AD

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You can contact the netl team at netl@netl.org.

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